Diary 2026

This is my Diary for 2026.

01

2026-01-01 16:08

New year, same struggle. In my dreams I was apologising to my mum for not being able to protect. I remembered that before her mobility problems become too overwhelming she was working all the time. While now I am not able to focus even on small tasks.

16:34 I have been just preparing to write, but I am already trembling. However, I will not give up. I never give up.

Daily functioning tips#Maintain hope even if fake one is a tip I am struggling now. However, it is an important one. You need hope of getting desired result in order to do the things you need to do. I was feeling exhausted and decided to finish for today. However, few moments later I felt that I did way too little and give up way too soon. However, it only confirmed that I am exhausted.

2026-01-02 16:37

I am exhausted, but I do not want to write about it. I want to ask why so few people write about corruption they face when dealing with insurance claims. However, I struggle my self to write about. But when I am done, then I will come back to this topic. If I will be able to do it, so should you. It would have saved me from so much needles suffering if that information was available to me.

2026-01-11 14:44

I wanted to write about something useful rather than just writing about suffering. It took a while.

I wanted to add few notes about willpower. To my surprise I cannot find anything here. I am sure I wrote about and many times. However, it is not here. Maybe I will find it somewhere someday. With a lot of struggle I was able to use today's example for section that Daily functioning tips#Willpower is not enough to combat exhaustion.

2026-01-12 15:22

Still struggling but completed the tip I started yesterday.

The problem with PTSD symptoms#Wrong appointment date happened so many times now, that I am looking at it as something that cannot be avoided. However, I was surprised to find out that I have not description of it in symptoms, nor in it tips.

2026-01-13 18:13

Not much to write about, only the reminder that writing Daily functioning tips#Diary does help also to deal with the tendency to get stuck with the tasks.

2026-01-14 18:28

Just to remind that the main reason for my incapacity to function is exhaustion and it affects all areas of my life.

2026-01-16 16:44

I slept very bad last night. I was not able to fall asleep from 5:00, and missed important part of the sleep. Whole day crawling and can not find a way to be productive. Few hours ago I decided to do simple household tasks, but it is no better. Have not done anything useful.

Lets check what else I recommend. I will start with Jalapeno (Spices and Spicy food) and background sounds.

2026-01-18 15:49

I need to readjust my plans again. I was writing down about last missed appointment as it is a good example. However, it has been more than a week and I have not completed it yet. I need to move on to other tasks :(.

2026-01-21 18:08

I am falling behind the schedule badly again. So, I am just making notes of what I would like to write in a diary. I hope I will come back to it one day.

2026-01-22 17:17

At least today I know what I want to do during next EMDR sessions. I knew from the morning when I woke up from nightmare where I was trying to go back to work and failing miserably. So many things went wrong since the trauma. Some thing could have been better if I was able to think properly, but I was not. There is a lot of pain associate with that. I do not think that pain servers any purpose now as it makes more difficult to do thing that I need and want to do now.

Here is a small example about hesitation to act even that is relate to previous statement.

I felt exhausted before I managed to write example :(. Maybe tomorrow.

2026-01-23 21:28

I thought yesterday was bad, but I have not wrote a single character yet. How it is possible to feel exhausted all the time.